On Spiritual Practice and Sexuality

Inspired by posts on Bending the Rule and Topmost Apple, I have been asking myself questions about why Christianity is in its current and seemingly perpetual state of controversy. More specifically, I think, is that I wrestle with how to live in the tension that all these questions create. People come to me and ask how I “feel” about gays in the church, and then commence to spout of their own view point, and to read into my statement’s their own points of view. It seems to me that controversy and debate have always been part of church life. After all, were it not for controversy, we would have no creed or canon. But there is something about this current debate over human sexuality that I find deeply disturbing and saddening.

I do not intend to use this post to flesh out a “position” on LGBT folks in the life of the church and then list all the logical reasons why my position is “true”. Rather, I want to reflect on a broader issue of prayer and practice.

A couple of weeks ago I was very blessed to be able to go to a Contemplative Outreach seminar. I was doubly blessed that none other than Fr. Thomas Keating was the keynote speaker that day. To add to it, E and I were running late, and when we arrived, Fr. Keating was sitting the reception hall waiting to go in. I of course took this chance to thank him for all of his work and to tell him how much his work had meant to me. He signed my copy of Open Mind, Open Heart, and then told me that prayer and contemplation should be the very foundation of all life, but especially the life of those who minister to others. After this exchange, we made our way to the meeting.

We met in the gym of a Roman Catholic School, with 300 or so folks sitting in very uncomfortable chairs waiting for this great spiritual leader to address us. I couldn’t help but notice that there was a wide range of folks there. People of every age and race were represented, as well as several different confessions in the Christian community. Most interesting to me was the fact that there was a couple sitting in front of us that was very clearly a gay couple. (Note: please don’t start a debate of how I knew they were gay and how I shouldn’t assume they were) The initial speakers ascended one by one, all discussing prayer and conversion of the heart. This led finally to Fr. Keating, who spoke for about five minutes, and then had the lights turned low and led us in a session of prayer. For 20 minutes, it did not matter that I was Lutheran in a Roman Catholic Church, it did not matter that the couple in front of me was a gay couple…none of our differences mattered for 20 minutes! What mattered was that all of us were intentionally opening our hearts to God in Christ. At that moment, St. Paul’s words were true: there was no Jew or Greek, no slave or free, no male or female…we were all in one in Christ Jesus.

In some Buddhist traditions, practitioners are taught to see each person they meet as a potential Buddha. In his book A Path with Heart, Buddhist teacher and psychologist Jack Kornfield goes so far as to suggest that we meditate on the idea that we live in a world in which everyone we encounter has already attained enlightenment, everyone but ourselves. In this way, we see that everyone has something to teach us, and that there are truly no wasted encounters. Christians would do well to adapt and adopt this attitude. How different would the debates of our church be if we looked at every single person as having the potential to live as Christ lived? What if we just assumed that every person we met was a little further along the path to theosis or sanctification than ourselves? Would words like faggot and dyke and homophobe pass away? Would we cease picking up Holy Scripture as if it were an instrument of death to strike our foes with, and begin to see it as we describe it in the liturgy? “Alleluia, Lord to whom shall we go? You have to words of eternal life! Alleluia!” And what are those words of eternal life? They were proclaimed in the lectionary this Sunday: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your mind and all your soul. And you shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these hang all the law and prophets.”

In my own spiritual life, I have learned several things, two of which I will share here today.

First, I have learned that there is a difference between knowing God and knowing about God. Christianity is about more than assent to ideas or rituals. It is about being in God, “in whom we live and move and have our being.” Here is a modern parable for you: There once was bright New Testament scholar who held a PhD from Duke and taught at a level I research university. He was an agnostic and often mocked his students. In the same town was an old woman who had to drop out of high school to support her ailing parents as a young person. Her hands were grizzled and calloused from hard work. Every night she went home, opened her King James Bible, read a devotion and prayed for those less fortunate than herself. Which one, I ask you, knows about God, and which one knows God?

This is not an anti-intellectual parable. Jesus told us to love God with our minds, and study provides us that opportunity. But if all we do is study, then we have not loved God as we have been instructed. I have no doubts that those on all sides of the debate over human sexuality are bright folks. They demonstrate this by the way they offer evidence for their positions, be they from scripture, tradition, or reason. But knowing ABOUT God will not suffice. We must seek to know God in a way that is transformative and salvific, for the sake not only of our own souls but for the sake of the world.

Second, I believe in the fundamental notion that we are justified by grace through faith, and that this is not our own work, but God’s. This does not, however, allow us to sit idly by in our faith. As I tell parents bringing their infants in for baptism, “baptism is not fire insurance”, it is the beginning of a way of life. Hard work may not justify us, but once we are justified, the work begins. And the spiritual life is WORK. Jesus may have said that his yoke was light, but it is still a yoke nonetheless. Until we realize that knowing God is going to take work and time and effort, then all our debates are to no avail.

I return to what Fr. Keating told me. Let prayer be your foundation. Simply prayer. Silence. Open hearts. What do you think that gym would have been like if we had Akinola and Robinson sitting in silence and openness toward God? What if the folks from LC/NA and Word Alone could have been there? Would there hearts have been changed? Maybe not in 20 minutes…but in time, perhaps.

Let us pray for the Church of Christ:
Gracious Father, we pray for they holy Catholic Church. Fill it
with all truth, in all truth with all peace. Where it is corrupt,
purify it; where it is in error, direct it; where in any thing it is
amiss, reform it. Where it is right, strengthen it; where it is in
want, provide for it; where it is divided, reunite it; for the sake
of Jesus Christ thy Son our Savior. Amen.