Things I have learned living in Louisiana
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in LOUISIANA.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in LOUISIANA plus a couple no one’s seen before.
4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
5. Onced and twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. Fixinto is one word.
10. There is no such thing as “lunch”. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
12. Backards and forwards means “I know everything about you.”
13. Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning “Did you eat?”
14. You don’t have to wear a watch because it doesn’t matter what time it is. You work until you’ re done or it’s too dark to see.
15. You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
YOU KNOW YOUR FROM LOUISIANA IF:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
3. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: “I’m fixing to go to the store “
4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
6. You know what a “DAWG” is.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car…for your OWN car.
8. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
9. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit “a little warm”.
12. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
13. You know whether another LOUISIANIAN is from BATON ROUGE, north or south as soon as they open their mouth.
14. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as “goin’ Wal-martin”or “off to Wally World”
15. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
16. A carbonated soft drink isn’t a soda, cola or pop…it’s a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: “What kinda coke you want?”
17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
18. We don’t need no stinking driver’s ed….if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
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I’m glad I read this when I was alone in the office because it really made me laugh. When I first moved here to Baton Rouge, I had to adjust to all of this (and honestly, I’m still adjusting). I knew there was no going back, though the first time I said without thinking that I was “fixin’ to” do something.
Oh, and on the festivals - you forgot natural resources…the Shrimp and Petroleum festval in…well, I don’t remember where except that it is somewhere around Lafayette.
And on spices - you left of Tony’s. I know people here who are incapabale of cooking a meal if Tony’s isn’t available. Actually, I’m slowly becoming one of those people.
The biggest thing I learned here is that roaches can grow to be over three inches long, and they not only make a crunching sound when you throw the telephone book at them to kill them, they also spew forth yellow gook.
Just wanted to leave you on a pleasant note…
Sheryl - I also didn’t mention the festivals named after meats. You should go to the andouille festival in LaPlace sometime!
And the roaches are huge! And don’t forget…they can fly!!!
Even though it has been almost 20 years since I lived in Louisiana, some things just stick around. We keep Tony’s in cabinet here at home too.
Say, have you had a good mufaletta recently? I have a jar of olive salad, but the meats are harder to find here.
I’m not really big on mufaletta - I don’t like olives. But I think the best sandwiches in the whole wide world are shrimp poboys. I had never heard of putting any seafood other than fish or tuna on bread before, but whoever thought it up should receive a medal.
If you think shrimp is good, you have to try an oyster poboy. That was my personal favorite growing up!!!!
ahhhhhhhh, it is all good. Takes me right back home. I have to laugh at a lot of it, because it is all so true. Imagine, the high light of your day, a trip to Wally World. And yes, I have Tony’s, and Slap your Mama in the cupboard. I have a home in Cenla, well actually a very small town in Central Louisiana, we just call it Cenla.
But we don’t call them roaches, them’s water bugs…..